Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Women and "The Seasoned" among us...

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." (Titus 2:3-5, NAS/NIV)

This particular scripture verse came to mind as I've observed and have been a part of myself regarding some painful "conversations" between other wives and mothers throughout my life and up until very recently too! I have a problem with something here... Speaking from my own experience; I'd like to touch base on this subject because I've been going through some tough decision making processes lately in my home life and recognized that my attitude actually "defaults" (or has been programmed) to selfishness first in regard to motherhood and sometimes even being a wife. These conversations have revealed something truly negative for me as a young wife and mother that I've heard/witnessed through the years since becoming a mother, something sad has truly been brought to light to me, in that, a large percentage of older women I've known or do know, tend to discourage motherhood rather than bless it and encourage it verbally or actively like the Word of God tells us too - let me clarify... I believe because of the "economic times" we're living in today, it appears as though it's an easy decision to just tell young mothers to stop having children (Or don't have children at all) so you can afford the things you need, or live as worldly as you want to... well of course we won't really "say it like that" but you get my point here. Aren't we really discouraging each other by making it appear as though mothering is a burden instead of a high and holy blessing from God? Have I hit a nerve yet? I hope so...

Here's a challenge for those of us who are strong willed and determined to make a difference!
I RARELY hear of conversations between women about motherhood being an awesome gift and blessing, but rather a daily need, that seems is never satisfied in us women and causes drama in our lives through complaints, bad attitudes, ignoring needs of others around us etc... Can we try to embrace our age and not discriminate ourselves any-longer and start encouraging the body of sisters out there who are on the brink of making unwise choices, you know - here's some valid examples of speaking with other young women & mothers and why its important to have more role models out there in our churches and communities: Divorce because they can't take the "family life" anymore - escape, selfishness, don't want to work at loving spouse anymore etc. - Affairs - lack of self control - an excuse to "relieve stress" and feel wanted again because family life gets in the way, life gets boring/want selfish change - emotional disillusionment thinking another can satisfy a void etc. - Abuse, speaks for itself/no control, angry at life/people - Alcohol/Drug use/Suicide... numb the pain of responsibility and tough love required to raise children in our tough society today etc. These are all horrible examples and not every person does them, but this subject or neglect of it, can lead to these issues and desperately needs to be addressed by more living examples of wives and moms who are doing the "family life" full of joy and contentment and shining as bright as they can because God leads their lives truly. Where are you? I've met few... but not enough! Dear Lord, please make me one of them!

I needed to publicly confess as well as highlight this very important issue because it's absolutely detrimental to my attitude living as a Christian woman and my salvation as well as others, which leads me to repentance constantly (which is a good place to be) but, because of this "programming" -- I have to work that much harder at Truly Loving what has been given to me as a pure blessing and not view it as a curse! Those "influences" have literally decayed my positive thinking at times, toward motherhood and being a wife - it has done a lot of damage in my thought life because of the independence, feminist way of thinking role models I've been accustomed to.

Does anyone else recognize this as a problem we sometimes face? Please comment if you feel led to, I'd like to hear from you... meanwhile, I'll be transforming my thought process yet again, into what God wants for my life more often and hopefully influence future conversations and ultimately people, toward positive change in God's way of thinking first, not out of selfish behaviors. *Let us lift each other up ladies!!! NOW! Be pursuing other women's needs, less on critical judgments - break-free of your comfort zones before its too late... Reach out in all sincerity with a smile on your face, not a look of Pity on the other - those women are everywhere, usually the ones you think that have it altogether. Things aren't easy and we already know it, help us to tame our tongue more often and speak blessing into the lives of each other now and beyond in every area... (here's a great example of what we could all focus on doing more often - Try not to focus on fixing problems by telling mothers/wives "what to do" good, rather, tell them that they are already doing good and are good at it! This is what motivates and brings about change, there is no other way to do it without that much needed all to neglected area of true affirmation toward one another :)

I'd like to close in prayer about this issue in my heart and life and for those who need more understanding and sensitivity to this matter...
Awesome Savior, Jesus, You made me and declared me wonderful in Your image and I thank you for Your compassionate heart for women and children. Nobody loves like You! Thank You for loving me like no other could possibly! Lord, may we find our peace and security in You and be more honest with ourselves in admitting our struggles and ugly vanity that overlooks Your wonderful plan which is always to bring You glory in all things no matter how hopeless it looks from out here! Lord, may each heart and life that reads this message be awakened to their own pride and discouraging thought-life that can be very destructive toward others trying to make sense of their lives and what it is You want from each of us specifically in regard toward mothering and being the wives you called us to be. May each woman learn to seek You more often and declare You, King over their lives, for REAL and not just for show - let us be like servants again, may we each learn to encourage often and lift each other up, help us to stop being so selfish and let us be open to recognize others needs ahead of our own. Lord... please change our attitude to that of Your awesome son, Jesus Christ. Amen - Give Him a shout!!!

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